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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23332168">Do your worst</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ticktockmrcopper/pseuds/Ticktockmrcopper'>Ticktockmrcopper</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EastEnders (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>ballum - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:20:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,183</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23332168</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ticktockmrcopper/pseuds/Ticktockmrcopper</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>One shot on last night's eastenders with ben and callum where callum finally snaps and Ben's world crashes down.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Do your worst</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ben and callum stood in the Mitchell kitchen in silence. Ben stood defiantly with his usual air of Mitchell swagger but he was leaning on the counter for support and he looked down at the floor refusing to look at Callum. Callum stood with his back to the door facing Ben stony faced. He seemed different more confident more determined , rigid and almost cold. The silence grew thicker and uncomfortable. Ben couldn't take it anymore. He took a deep breath still staring at the floor and said with his usual defiance </p><p>" Go on then. Do your worst". </p><p>He knew Callum was angry and disappointed but he didnt want a lecture. Everything he knew had been turned upside down and he just wanted things to go back to the way they were. He was still irritated about Danny even though he knew Callum wasn't to blame. Ben hated being weak, being defenceless, being nothing. He was a Mitchell.  Without that Mitchell honour he was nothing. Callum stood staring at him for a moment then he straightened up his shoulders nodding and walked towards him radiating a cold, determined air. Ben looked up slowly facing him. Callum's face was impassive as he looked at Ben, his usual warm, friendly demeanour was gone and Ben felt an uneasy sensation in his stomach. Callum faced him directly and said slowly so that Ben could hear him </p><p>"Okay...I dont want to do this anymore".</p><p>Callum stood facing Ben who was refusing to look at him and stared at the floor. Callum felt impatient and irritated. He was starting to grow really tired of Ben's attitude latley. He had been a nightmare for weeks but Callum has let it slide because he knew how much he was hurting and he just wanted to be there for him. But the way Ben has treated him at the club after Callum had helped him with Danny and his thugs. Callum's blood boiled, he shouldn't have been there. He was supposed to have been at his assesment. It was his second chance but he coudnt leave Ben with that man with his hearing impediment vulnerable. He was always putting Ben first and getting nothing back.  Of course Ben had to get himself arrested, it was typical Ben. But when Kathy has told him Ben was with some old queen from the Prince Albert. God that had hurt, even though he knew deep down Ben wouldn't have cheated the thought of it still killed him. His conversations with Tiffany and Jack had made all hia doubts and insecurities rise to the surface. But he needed to hear what Ben had to say for himself first. If he ever decided to speak that was. "Go on then do your worst". Callum stared in disbelief and then something inside of him snapped. A burst of cold rage burt inside him and he rose up nodding and walked over to where Ben stood. He waited for Ben to look at him and then said the words that he never thought he would say. </p><p>" Okay...I don't want to do this anymore"</p><p>Ben stared into Callum's eyes which were cold and felt ice cold dread pool inside his stomach. Callum turned away from him and Ben felt a wave of panic engulf him. </p><p>"What no wait please" he spluttered making a mad dash for Callum and grabbing him wildly. </p><p>Callum tore his arm out of Ben's frantic grip.</p><p> "No he snapped i am so sick of this. I cant give you anymore. I'm done". </p><p>Ben gasped for air tears swimming in his eyes. "I'm sorry Im sorry" he choked out reaching for Callum pleadingly. </p><p>Callum shook his head stepping back. " I should have been at my police assesement today, i should have been focused but instead i was worrying about you! Do you know that? Do i even cross your mind"?!</p><p> Ben struggled to keep track of what Callum was saying, his ears ringing but he could see how furious and distressed his boyfriend was. </p><p>"Sorry sorry" he said placatingly. </p><p>Callum grew more angry as his frustrations poured out. "Am i that much of a soft touch"?!  </p><p>Ben shook his head "NOO" he cried out desperately. </p><p>Callum wasn't done. "</p><p>What because I'm  a bit nice? It doesn't mean you get to walk all over me! I dont deserve to be treated like that"! </p><p>Ben rubbed his face as his heart beat faster and the ringing grew louder. </p><p>"I'm sorry please babe I'm sorry"! Ben whispered tears flooding his eyes. </p><p>White noise ensued as Callum shouted and Ben caught a few words "driving a stolen car' "picking up an old queen in the bar". The ringing became unbearable and Ben grabbed his ears stumbling back. He turned around as he couldn't bear to see Callum leave and sobs ripped out of his body.</p><p> "Im sorry Im sorry" he shouted and he punched the counter. "I'm sorry for everything I'm sorry" he slumped down hands pressed over his ears crying hysterically.</p><p>Callum turned and bent down to pick up his bag. He stopped when he heard Ben cry out. He turned to look at him and froze on the spot as Ben's sobs burst through him and into his bleeding heart. He watched him with a mixture of anguish, pain, love and trepidation.  He had never seen Ben so remorseful, so open, so vulnerable, so childlike before. Callum hadnt expected this reaction, honestly he thought Ben was going to be his usual cocky self. All he had wanted was for Ben to stop hurting everyone else and put him first for once. Deep down callum didnt want to leave Ben, he just coudnt carry on like this anymore. But seeing Ben so broken, so apologetic, so desperate it made his heart ache. He couldn't leave him in this state, he loved him too much. He walked over and gently touched the top of Ben's head to alert him of his presence and Ben fell into his arms sobbing his heart out. Callum held him close putting his hands over Ben's ears to block out his pain and the loud noise he knew he was experiencing.</p><p>Ben couldn't take it anymore as the loud ringing coupled with his heartbreak over Callum and desperate fury over his own actions consumed him and he grabbed his head with both hands breaking down. He turned away not able to cope with seeing Callum walk out of the door and punched the counter crying hysterically.</p><p> "I'm sorry, im sorry for everything, I'm sorry" he screamed out sobbing. </p><p>He bent down crying desperate for his physical and emotional pain to stop. He felt a hand touch him gently on his head and he knew it was Callum's touch. Relief and disbelief flooded through him and he launched into Callum's arm's gripping onto his coat for dear life, nuzzling into his neck. Callum's touch soothed him and the ringing in his ears eased slightly. Ben knew he needed to sort himself out, he coudnt lose Callum. He was his safe space, his comfort, his life.</p>
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